Sunday, 14 September 2008

Random Laughs

Ok, I have no idea if this is a true story or not. I don't really care. It's funny! Funny stories don't have to be true to be funny. So, consider the disclaimer of validity checked off.

The other day I was thinking about my mission, and how it's actually quite a brave thing we do, in this day and age. We go around, knocking on random strangers doors. They don't know us. We don't know them. Then . . . we actually walk into their homes!! We have no idea what kind of person this is. It could be some crazy needlepoint hording cat killer. And yet, it happens every day! And nearly 100% of the time, there's no problem. (Of course, those people are doing a brave thing by inviting two random strangers in off the street, too. But as I'm on the invitee not inviter list, obviously the dangers of going into a random stranger's house were those which jumped out at me first.) Well . . . here's a story of when a visit didn't go quite as planned. It's not a missionary visit, it's an Elders Quarum visit. (For those of you who don't know, the Elder's Quarum is the men's association for our church. This story is about two men from my church going to visit a family who'd stopped coming to church. Finding out if they needed anything, and inviting them to come back to church.)

Why To Keep Your Temple Recommend
The Mormons Meet the Metro Narcotics Unit
By Daryl Zadok Budd, Clearfield , Utah

The Elders Quorum President and I were visiting some lost souls, when they were found by the long arm of the law. As we were preparing to say the closing prayer at the conclusion of our visit we heard someone pounding on the door and yelling, 'It's the police! Open the door!' I thought, 'Oh, that old joke.' Then there was more pounding, 'It's the police! We have a search warrant!' Before this lady's boyfriend made it to the door to open it the police opened the door for him. Into the house stormed ten police officers dressed from head to toe in black body armor.

Each gentleman had a submachine gun. When I saw the door burst open, read the word POLICE across the first officers Kevlar vest and saw the large gun that he had I thought, 'This is going to make a great story.' The Officer only got to 'Get on the...' and I was face down on the carpet with my hands above my head in full view. 'Get down on the ground!' The friendly officer again shouted at the President. The only trouble the President had was that the room was very small and had a coffee table in the center of it. There was no available space remaining on the floor, as the rest of us had already 'hit the deck.' There was no room left in the Inn , if you know what I mean.

The Elders Quorum President, therefore, made the mistake of standing up from where he was sitting on the couch and trying to explain who we were. The kind officers did not seem to like this action and one very large officer stepped toward the President who then found himself looking directly into the muzzle of the gun with a bright light shining in his eyes. As the officer placed his finger over the trigger and shouted, 'I said get on the ground!!' the president decided to do so. As there was nowhere else to go, he laid on top of me, his first councilor. I never thought I would need to 'support the President' like that I assure you. I really felt the 'weight of my calling.' We were instructed not to move or speak which was difficult to say the least as I had eaten a little too much for supper and the President is not exactly a small man. After a time the President whispered, 'Are you O.K. down there?' I didn't dare answer. But a few seconds later the humor of the whole situation hit me full force and I started laughing, silently mind you, which made my body shake and the President being on top of me was well aware that I was laughing and thought, 'What in the world could he possibly be laughing at?'

After they got done handcuffing the two closest to us they were ready for us. 'Stand up and keep your hands above your head!' We arose and the officers searched us for weapons. The heroic officers did a much more extensive search of the President's person due to his earlier, 'Non-compliance' 'Who are you?!' asked the large officer who had gently persuaded the President to get down on the floor. 'We are the Elders Quorum Presidency from a local Ward of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints,' replied* the President in one breath.

The officers looked at each other and their weapons lowered a little bit. 'Do you have any church I.D.?' One officer asked. They gave us back our wallets and we showed them our Temple Recommends and Drivers licenses. Big smiles came onto their faces and they soon escorted us out to our car, wished us a good night and allowed us to drive away with a great story to tell.

I knew that my Temple Recommend could help me get into the Lord's house but I never dreamed it could help me avoid going to the 'Big house.' This time the lost sheep that we were hoping to bring back to the fold sadly ended up going to a different pen.

Daryl Zadok Budd

*Can I just note in passing -- It's a really good thing that this (supposedly) took place in Utah where the statement 'We're the Elders Quorum Presidency from the local Ward of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints' actually makes sense? Try that in most other places in the world and you would first have to explain that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the same group as the Mormons, that we're not actually a devil worshiping cult and that we are Christian (Hello??? Anyone note the name????). Then you'd have to explain what the 'Elders Quorum' is, and how that gives you a reason for being in this person's home!


Gardner Family said...

Okay this is pretty irnoic. My friend from San Diego sent me this email. The email had the guys name at the bottom of the email with his stake saying Clearfield Utah stake. I am in the Clearfield 5th ward! Small world huh?

Gardner Family said...

PS I totally agree with the last bit you said. So true that only in Utah would that make sense!!! I used to be one of those people who didn't know that the mormons and the church of jesus christ of later day saints were the same church!!! :)

sandee said...

Well it sure made me chuckle!